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  I didn't mean to imply that you were suggesting that feminism itself stinks (I certainly know you don't think that), and I also didn't mean to imply that you were Adult personals Denver Colorado completely pro idealist/realist. If anything, I think the latter point is where you and I ultimately tend to have nearly all of our disagreements, when you get down to the bottom of things. So I'm sorry if what I was saying came off that way. The points I was trying to draw together, so that the advice we were giving seemed less polarly opposite, was that even though the two of us disagree on where a person's activism should stem from, I think that a lot of our practical, next-step advice was similar Find organizations, and people, that support you It is not necessary to give up your difference in order to either be successful or respected; however, (and the following is my addition and not yours) this is probably not true of the sanitized, largely public face of the feminist movement. This is a problem with them, not with you. If you wish to change that itself, then you need to try different tactics than they themselves employ, ideally by understanding exactly where it is where they go wrong and exploiting/correcting that in your own efforts. As an addition, I would say that part of the reason that I am a firm believer in recognizing where there is overlap in people's beliefs, advice, desires, whatever is precisely because it allows unexpected and perhaps slightly unusual alliances to be built. There is power to that, and it is the very thing the OP is frustrated about not being able to have. You and I frequently disagree on a lot, but the one thing we always have is a place for one another at the same table. I think that can only happen if we acknowledge both the similarities and differences in what we are trying to do. Whether we have to look to our beliefs, goals, methods, or character in trying to find what those are is important, too. If we focused only on one, we'd end up either walking away or trying to force each other into the wrong boxes. But alliances can be built in a lot of different ways, and that is worth considering. Elwanda

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