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Tweet i've been in contact with him about all of this for a couple of weeks (since the last time he broke down in tears about us being apart when i was totally unprepared for it). the last thing i wrote Lonely lady wants casual sex dating over 40 him had to do with how i am very independent, and how that sometimes translates into me acting in selfish ways by simply not *needing* him and therefore not writing as much as he'd like, or not feeling as torn up about being apart, or choosing seasonal jobs or schools that aren't in his neighborhood. well, i just got a response, and here was the gist of what he said: he admits to playing the victim in some cases, but that ultimately, me being dependent and him craving security (euphemism for dependent?) are both neutral traits, so neither is good nor bad, and that also i'm not the bad guy and he's not the victim of my being independent. i don't know if that's true. the other big point: he argued that i shouldn't frame how our future relationship be (once school starts up for me) based on how it's been for the last couple of years, which were dominated by transient seasonal jobs on both ends. he also says that he can't accept that what differences we have are too large to bear for 2 years of separation when our compatibilities make us happy for the X years that we have once we live together. he got that "2 year" figure by saying maybe once his classes are done and he's just writing his thesis, he'll be able to move to where i'll be. what do you guys think??? i mean, based on what you guys have said so far, it seems like his neediness wouldn't disappear once we're in the same place, and i feel justified in projecting the only experiences of our current relationship for how our future relationship might go. (of course, though, i think i'm right, so i'm looking to you guys to keep me grounded!). in response to other postings nope, not high school sweethearts; we started dating at the end of college. thanks so much. really appreciate the sounding board you all are providing!

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