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Everything you just described is and it never gets easier. If he is willing to disrespect you once like that, he be willing to do it again Older ladies ready horny sex wants seduction and again; it only get worse. don't wait for that to happen. He never stop being what he is. You, if he can keep you feeling like it's "all your fault", maybe you wont notice what a pathetic excuse for a he is. A good does not treat any woman like that., he is you bit by bit and injuring your psychologiy at the very least. I know that you probably feel weak. Maybe you feel too weak and tired to do anything about what is happening. Maybe he keeps your head spinning so much that it's hard to think. Maybe you feel bad about yourself right now, but you don't have to. I left an abusive spouse and I am happy and safe now. My are happy and safe too. After getting away you start to think straight and how he was screwing with your head. You don't need all of that drama and your are better off without him as a role model! Please escape this cycle and reach for a happy life. You can't do this alone. You need help, and not from abusive family members. Here are some you can to get help: Day One Minnesota Domestic Violence Crisis Line ( ) *** National Domestic Violence Hotline ( ) ( ) Here is a really good website: I really, really that you reach out and ask for help from people who know what to do. Good luck.