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At Lambda, she experienced a sharp loss in when New York’s highest court, the Court of Appeals, decided 6 to 1 that a lesbian, known in the case as D., had no legal right to visit the she was raising with her former partner, M., the biological parent. But there were important victories, too. During her years as legislative counsel to the Empire State Pride Agenda in New York, from to , Ms. Ettelbrick was among those urging Mayor W. Giuliani to domestic partners rights and benefits equal to those of spouses. When the domestic partner was introduced in , she told The New York Times: “If you’re married, you can go to City Hall and file a tax appeal as a couple. Now, we can, too. It’s very meaningful for those of us who live in families not joined by marriage.” After a brief turn at the Policy Institute of the National and Lesbian Task Force, Ms. Ettelbrick served as executive director of the International and Lesbian Human Rights Commission from to. Most recently, she was executive director of the Stonewall Community Foundation in New York. She also taught law at New York University Law School and at Barnard College. Her partner was Haggerty, of Manhattan and Yonkers. Her — Ettelbrick, 14, and Ettelbrick, 13 — now live with Ms. Goldberg and her partner. The women, and the, would spend time together in the city and vacation together in Provincetown, Mass. All survive her, as do her brother, Ettelbrick Jr., of Hill, Calif., and her sister, Anderes, of Tucson. Never opposed to same-sex marriage, just wary of its restrictive potential, Ms. Ettelbrick was pleased when the New York State Legislature voted in to legalize such marriages. But Ms. Goldberg said Ms. Ettelbrick remained concerned that “those celebrations not preclude recognition of families that fall outside marriage’s scope.”