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So, I have asked her a few times over the years to me. She's said yes, shes said no but ultimately I wonder what does that mean wanting to ask? now I'm wondering why you're asking repeatedly. If she said yes, she said yes, right? But then she said no. hm. Having been in LDRs myself, and knowing very well what you mean by those ups and downs (which can be part of any relationship, but feel more drastic when there's geographical distance involved), I think there be something about asking for marriage (even repeatedly) as a way to confirm the relationship is solid, and that you're both committed and on the same path. LDRs can create a type of insecurity that has more to do with not being able to check in with your partner in the same way(s) that you could if you were living together, or at least in the same area. Sure, you can talk to your partner on, but that's not the same as a gentle touch from your partner. (And I mean a sweet, tender touch, not the "soft touch of a female", and let's face it, humans are tactile creatures.) So I think, part of your wanting to ask (repeatedly) might have to do with you wanting to check in with her and make sure your relationship is ok. I don't mean to downplay your feelings for her (which I know are genuine) or hers for you. And, of course, I could be completely projecting based on my past experiences. But, you asked and that's what came to mind. "What is?" Well, Jones asked that question too, and I'm not sure he ever really answered it, but his is stuck in my head now. Sigrid
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there are organized bdsm/alternative groups in xxx lady seeking sex your area. If so, they often have how to workshops. I second the resources that thatqueerchick mentioned. Research and learning is good. It is responsible that you're doing that kudos! It also depends on the person you are distancing. folks who know their dom is new are okay with a learning curve. Folks got to start somewhere. Partly because female dominants are rare and should be cultivated. Partly because potential doms (or switches) are developed and don't to the earth full formed. My basic rule of thumb learn all the technical and safety related stuff the best you can. Since the other person is putting themselves into your hands. Then use your imagination and creativity and develop your individual style. It doesn't matter if you're like/unlike anyone, as as you and the other person are consenting and having (safe) fun. Good luck and feel free to drop by the forum for questions or to give updates! 
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