Truthfully, did you get along before you got married? How times did you break up? How often did someone stomp off in anger? Here's the deal. Marriage
Divorced adult looking friendship dating married men can activate inner stuff. We all have hopes, dreams, insecurities, and anxieties riding on it. It makes us more reactive and you two are having a reactivity crisis. IF you two honestly had a sane, non-volatile relationship before marriage you can turn this situation around. IF you didn't, forget it. One or both of you aren't ready. There's only ONE way a marriage improves. One party has to stop reacting and stop escalating conflict. You can't decide to be less reactive when the other guy stops: it'll never happen. You have to make a decision to change your own behavior, to monitor only YOUR behavior, and to pay less attention to what you're husband's doing wrong. It's ALL about keeping YOUR side of the street clean and unreactive. You say you're over-sensitive and take things personally. That's a problem. So get yourself into cognitive therapy, pronto. This isn't the time for analytic therapy where you dwell on yourself and your discontents. Find a therapist who'll do cog therapy role-playing with you for the express purpose of becoming less reactive. You might also read books, maybe starting with The Agreements. Make self-control and learning to take things in stride your top priority. Second, quit talking about divorce. don't mention the word again. Threatening divorce increases reactivity in both parties. Third, shut up. Quit giving unsolicited advice. You CAN break that annoying habit. Learn to say, "Oh." That's a fabulous, all-purpose response. Moreover, when an argument starts, don't fight back. don't explain. don't launch into a lengthy analyses of you-said-this-so-I-said that. The more pressure you feel to speak/advise/explain/opine the more important it is to shut up. Fourth, read a book or two on fighting fair. Read them privately don't read them to your husband and expect him to learn something. That'll only get you monitoring him, instead of yourself. You CAN turn this around. months of deliberately controlling your reactions absolutely calm the system down. You'll a difference in two weeks. But YOU have to control you, YOU have to slow down and choose to not react.